by Ryan Cassidy
Dir: Thomas Bezucha
Starring: Selena Gomez, Leighton Meester, Katie Cassidy
It would be ridiculous to even try to critiqueMonte Carlowith any form of rational thought. The film stars Disney ‘tween’ sensation Selena Gomez and gossip Girl alumni Leighton Meester and Katie Cassidy, as three young Texans on a Parisian vacation that doesn’t turn out as ‘chic’ as they had hoped. After a series of unfortunate events, they find themselves taking shelter from the rain in a luxury hotel, where they meet English heiress named Cordelia, who just so happens to be the double of Gomez’ character, Grace. Seeking the holiday they think they deserve, they decide to pretend that Grace is said heiress, and are whisked off toMonte Carlo.
The next 80 minutes are filled with standard teenage rom-com clichés (transformative make-overs, daft ‘comic’ situations, and, of course, poignant coming-of-age realisations), as the three try to fit in to the decadent lifestyles of the rich and famous for a week.
First of all, the acting is abysmal; Gomez plays the dual role of Grace and Cordelia and fails to play either convincingly. Between the terrible English accent (I’m not even sure she managed her American accent that well) and the two facial expressions she mustered, it’s painful to watch. The worst move though was the casting of Catherine Tate as Cordelia’s aunt, or rather her agreeing to the role. The comic genius is transformed into a Z-list actress in mere minutes (what a f****** liberty, you might say).
The director, Thomas Bezucha, has stitched together a flimsy teen rom-com comprised mainly of shots ofParisandMonaco. And don’t get me started on the film’s soundtrack, constructed mainly of the cheesiest half of Mika- an uninspired move that will have you reaching for ear plugs.
That said, I’m probably not the film’s target audience; it does have a few funny scenes and is watchable, but it will serve little purpose other than distracting a few 11 year olds from One Direction for 90 minutes.}