This Valentine’s Day, focus on more pressing issues than your love life.

By Aashna Sharma (she/her)

The Roman Empire got a lot of things right, but the month of February wasn’t one of them.

Also known as a period of time that is vomited over with heart-shapes, it used to be nestled snugly at the tail end of the Roman calendar as the original December. As luck would have it however, people were stabbed and quarrels were had, leading to a fall of the Roman Empire.

February then became the Monday night of the Gregorian Calendar – bringing with it the dread of it’s grand holiday, Valentine’s Day, dripping with pressure to go on a fabulous date.

As the last dredges of January wear off, the 1st of February arrives, bringing with it a sense of dread for some and… a sense of dread for others. The grand finale of cuffing season is due. Whether you have a partner to celebrate with, or you’re desperately looking for one, or you just don’t care – there’s no escaping the red spectre of Valentine’s Day – until now!

Before, nothing short of falling into a coma would let you be free of the holiday. But seeing as most people are not particularly prone to comas, we’re here to tell you that, as it turns out, there’s another way! Because who said the 14th of February had to be Valentine’s day anyway? There are a million more ways to celebrate.

Here’s six of them:

1. Pet Theft Awareness Day 

Did you know pets get stolen all the time? No, you only care about yourself. Pets around the world are always in danger of being picked up by a petty thief. What kind of monster would do such a thing, and why aren’t more people talking about it? Well, this February 14th you can do something about it – raise awareness and spend the day telling all those careless couples to go home and check on their pets.

2. National Ferris Wheel Day

The first Ferris Wheel was invented to compete with the Eiffel Tower. Well, the verdict is in – in a fight between the Ferris Wheel and the icon of Paris, the Ferris Wheel would come out on top. No questions asked. For one, the Eiffel Tower can’t even move. You have to walk to get to the top and admire the view. Is that fair? no. A Ferris Wheel takes you to the view. It also doesn’t usually have at least 11 different proposals happening in front of it every few seconds. That’s two for two. What goes around comes around. The Ferris Wheel wins, so this week, go thank any Ferris Wheel you can find.

3. National Christine Day

If your name is Christine, you’re in luck! Every February 14th, people worldwide celebrate National Christine Day to honour the enduring legacy and popularity of the name Christine which originates from Greece and is recognised in various languages including English, French, and German. And if your name isn’t Christine – well you can always celebrate with a Christine near you.

4. Library Lovers’ Day

No, we’re not talking about people who fall in love in libraries. This is a day for people who are in love with libraries. A day that recognises the significance of these grand institutions and the transformative power of the books they house. So this 14th February, you can spend the day loving a library – and finally return that book you checked out six years ago.

5. Jell-O Week

The heart is a muscle and muscles get stronger when you give them protein. This February 14th, make your heart stronger by celebrating a great source of protein – Jell-O. Derived from collagen found in animal products, Jell-O has been enjoyed in various forms since the 15th century. It has over 25 different Jell-O flavours and 30 pudding varieties, so there’s a wobbly treat to suit everyone’s taste buds. So this February 14th, instead of getting jealous, get some Jell-O

6. World Bonobo Day

Mark your calendars for World Bonobo Day! A time to give a round of applause to our furry friends with whom we share an ancestor – the Bonobos. These fascinating creatures use a variety of vocalisations such as shrill whooping calls, screams, barking calls, and grunts to communicate with each other. Additionally they utilise hand and foot gestures as part of their communication repertoire. We know what you’re thinking – good communication? your ex could learn a think or two. All the more reason to raise awareness about Bonobos and stop stalking your ex’s socials this Valentine’s Day.

So whether its pet theft, people named Christine, Ferris wheels, or Bonobos, you have a lot to celebrate on this day that other folks seem to call Valentine’s Day,

Take your pick and take the power back!