By Kate Connor (she/they)
In some ways, I am very new to spirituality, and in others, I’m an old hand! All my life, there has been some semblance of spirituality that I’ve been involved with; the only thing that has changed now is that what I believe in will be entirely my choice.
It has been a journey, but let’s start from the beginning.
I was baptised a Christian as a child, and I spent my childhood in the church. I’m sure, at some point, I did believe in it all. In fact, it was a great comfort at times; however, early adolescence found me starting to feel out of place and losing faith. I began questioning my beliefs around 15. It was tough. Things I’d always believed to be true and right didn’t feel so comfortable and natural to me anymore.
Years full of doubts soon passed, and although I still attend church, I’ve pretty much rejected most of its teachings now. The headspace I find myself in currently is definitely more aligned with what I automatically think of when I hear ‘spirituality.’ I spend my time focusing on myself, meditating and playing around with crystals to feel connected to my true self.
This is where the ‘newness’ of my spiritual journey comes in.
I use crystals as a way to physically hold onto my emotions. The crystals have different properties, so I decide which one to stick in my pocket based on which crystal attributes to how I feel aligned with that morning. The world of crystals, manifestation and magic is all so fascinating to me, but it is such a vast world of knowledge that it can be overwhelming.
I’ve found little guidebooks and learning from others is the best way to begin, and if you have a mind like mine that does not settle long enough to try and meditate or manifest, then I suggest listening to guided meditations on YouTube.
Magic is something that really interests me, but I haven’t decided whether I ‘believe’ in it yet or not, which is perhaps why I haven’t ventured far down that road. Some of these things appear ‘silly’ or ‘weird’ on the surface, but if it helps you to feel grounded and connected – I say go for it.
One thing I’ve learned is not to dwell on what others see, believe, or think. This spirituality and journey are wholly personal, and no one gets to decide what you should believe or think. I’ve noticed there are similarities to my Christian practises within these magical practises, just different words are used, and with my spirituality now, I don’t feel as trapped with rigid rules and practises. I think that’s what I love most about it – the freedom.
Pitch given by Ellie Boyd
Edited by Theerada Moonsiri
Third year English and Creative Writing Student.