By Hannah Wong
You know what day is approaching when you walk into to a shop (any shop) and there’s red flooding the aisles, hearts dangling from the ceiling or draped over things and an array of pink and red balloons floating around. It’s a Valentine’s massacre, cards screaming “I love you”, “be my valentine….PLEASE” and “you are the ONE” and so on and on and on and on….it would make my toes curl.
As you can probably tell my attitude towards V-day is pretty indifferent. I mean, why should you just show someone you love them one day a year where you should tell you’re ‘one’ you love them at least once a day right?
I guess I have to admit I’m wrong.
A baby changes everything. Sure, I’ve heard that before but I had no idea what kind of change they would cause. The change, I imagine, affects everyone differently.
For me, all my focus was and still is on the baby, this tiny human is the priority. Anything the Tiny Human wants or needs, they get it. My focus is all about her – am I being a good mother? Am I giving them what they need? Am I doing this right? Our needs, as parents, come second.
Not to mention my body was has changed. My stomach is no longer as taut as it was and I’ve been left with the most unattractive stretch marks. I was nursing too so my body was still owned by my baby. I’ve never been body confident but it’s become much worse since then. It has been difficult to feel the same intimacy I had with my ‘one’ because of the body consciousness.
I have been pushing the ‘one’ away as well as admittedly neglecting him, not on purpose of course but I guess I’ve been so consumed in everything ‘Tiny Human’ that it’s been hard to feel the romance anymore. Our opportunities to be free and not be ‘mummy’ and ‘daddy’ have been limited. And, by the end of each evening, we both melt on front of the TV as a way to relax. We even forget to cuddle because we are so exhausted by the end of the day.
So, I welcome V-day this year instead of giving the ‘boak’ and the ‘icks’; the lovey-dovey cards give me a gentle reminder to make the effort with my ‘one’, to remember to tell him that I love him. It will be the one day that will remind me for the rest of the year until the next that I should always say ‘I love you’ as often as possible, and to make more of the little time we have alone together.
To those of you who have forgotten to give the attention your loved one, your better halves or for those who are not ‘into’ it, view Valentine’s day as your exclusive day where you have to do something special with your ‘one’ regardless of what your views are of Valentine’s day. It’s perhaps the day that can make up for the other days that you’ve missed being together.
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