Sex and Sensibility: Break Up and Make Up with Yourself

Column Jennifer Constable pic

By Jennifer Constable, Web Editor


Breakups are an unavoidable and unpleasant part of the dating game- and they don’t get much more depressing than when they happen during the festive period. It’s literally the season made for cute coffee dates and cuddles on the couch in front of Love Actually. There’s no getting away from it; being newly single in the festive season sucks. Everywhere you go you’re constantly reminded of it between the endless reels of Christmas themed love songs and, of course, the elderly relatives prying into your private life -“you’re STILL single?!” It’s impossible to forget about your breakup, and it’s a very bitter pill to swallow.

Ending a relationship starts a grieving process of sorts. It’s not fun, and it does take a while to fully “get over it”. It’s difficult adjusting to life outside being a “couple”, or not having that one person always just a text away to talk about your day with or have a moan to. What’s more, your head is full of intrusive and wholly unwelcome thoughts; was it all a massive mistake? Do they still think about you? (And the worst one…) are they sleeping with someone else?

To open the old cliché, it’s important to take time for “you” after a big breakup.

Make an effort to surround yourself with friends, go to pub quizzes, treat yourself, buy a vibrator- it’s your call. Relationships – when they work – are great, sure. And it’s a nice feeling to “have someone”. But having a partner should complement you, not an essential extension of you. Don’t rush into anything new straight away because you’re lonely- that saying “the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else” is possibly the worst advice anyone can give. The post breakup period is time for you to focus on what (not who) you want to do.

The sad reality is that sometimes relationships aren’t written in the stars, and we have to find ways to suck it up and move on. We’ve all been through it, and the chances are a lot of us will go through it again before we find “the one”. We’re young; there’s a whole variety of possible “ones” out there for us! Hell, walking down Buchannan Street I fall in love on a daily basis with perfect strangers.

Once you’ve had time to think things over, in time, maybe you’ll get back with your ex and pick up where you left, and if you do – fantastic! But if you don’t rekindle the romance then that’s okay too; there will be someone else, maybe even a few someone elses * winks *.

Relationships will come and go, but your relationship with yourself is one you can’t afford to neglect- break-ups are rough, but don’t let them take their toll on you.


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