Strathclyde Telegraph

Bacon gives you cancer? But it tastes SO good

By Ryan Goodwin


Carnivorous beings and meat-heads everywhere have been panicking under the revelation that processed and red meats can increase the chances of cancer, according to a World Health Organization report.

I read the report over a bacon roll, funnily enough. Before doing so, I had whipped out a couple of slices from the packet, stuck them under the ol’ George Forman and laughed in the face of the heart disease that Future Ryan may conceive as that crispy goodness sizzled under the lid of my grill. Now, all of a sudden, for having 50g of processed meat a day, one’s chances of developing colorectal cancer increase by 18 per cent.

A quick scour amongst the masses of opinions (okay, I was on Twitter) further showed me the outcry. Must we give up our hot dog dreams? Our bacon breakfasts? Eating a Full English was made out to be in the same category as downing a bottle of Domestos. This was Twitter we’re talking about, and if there’s one thing I know about adolescents on social media, we like to exaggerate.

And if it wasn’t bad enough, the WHO had limited evidence to show that red meats could also be in such a bracket. Though it can’t be fully proved yet, muscle meats including pork, beef, veal, etc are now also in the same topic of conversation as bacon as possible foods that could increase chances of cancer. I didn’t bother checking Twitter again at this point, considering all the somewhat smug vegans and vegetarians out there on my feed.

One Argentinian bloke, as reported in The Guardian, said he’d rather die than give up such foods. Another Guardian article, showing views from people London and New York claim that such a report is only “scaremongering” and that they’d “rather die happy and not hungry,” however this is the WHO, and the disease is cancer. Should we take note of this warning? Should we shift our diets? Should we forget our hot dog dreams?

So as I sat there on that troubling Sunday morning, I thought to myself: “bacon has turned into a food for the YOLO enthusiasts,” as I took my final bite of my roll.if (document.currentScript) {