By Kirsten Weir
Every decision I make, I’m met with a barrage of abuse. Regardless of how blatant the foul is, the opposing team will swear and shout. Occasionally teams sarcastically applaud me when a decision goes in their favour.
I referee the game in a haze, trying to concentrate on the game and ignore the shouts from the sideline. I smile inwardly at the attempted manipulation by the players as they attempt to get into my head. ‘Great decision ref, you’re doing fab’ or ‘don’t let that team bully you ref, you’re having a great game’. I don’t want any team to think I’m having a good game because I believe it’s nigh on impossible for the players to be objective. I’ve had a good game if I’m invisible.
When I do feel like I’ve missed a bad tackle or failed to call offside, I hope that the same passage of play doesn’t have a direct influence on the scoreline. I care about being fair and treating both teams equally and it’s hard not to let decisions earlier in the game influence my future decisions. It is tempting to ‘level out the luck’ as it were. I watch Match of the Day at night and it is always implied that a referee ‘evens out’ an earlier bad decision by giving a second dubious decision to the other team.
The self-doubt regarding each decision is ever present and I spend hours after games going over my decisions and mentally justifying my reasons behind each call. The lack of respect for referees is frightening and the genuine hatred at times can be extremely intimidating. I wish I had been more respectful as a player to my referees as I now know that they were genuinely trying their best. It is a cliché but refereeing is harder than it looks and there is no incentive or encouragement for the development of younger referees.
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