Strathclyde Telegraph

Horoscope: April

by Francis Berryman

Pisces:
Trouble in your love life?
Issues when in bed?
Dont want to take the blame?
Put it on others instead?
I think I must be honest here,
It’s time to be quite blunt,
If you think there’s something fishy,
You ought to wash your hands
of relationships

Cancer:
Parental issues are to the fore,
Once again they’ve fallen out.
Dont feel bad or upset,
though they scream and shout.
It’s in no way your fault,
though your mum may scoff and scorn,
It’s your dad’s mistake, that he was caught
watching Bieber
on tour

Taurus :
Does life seem hard, do you feel its too much?
Has it all escaped you, have you lost your touch?
My advice this month, is try not to quit,
Things will get better, though its all gone to
pot

Virgo:
You need to watch your social life, you’re going kind of mad;
You don’t want to lose control, as your reputation is quite bad.
If you fall in love, whenever someone sneezes,
I’d take precautions quickly, or you’ll be riddled with
problems

Leo:
You can get to where you need to go, be who you need to be.
You can thrive this month, live your life with glee.
You can overcome all things, you can lead the flock,
Just don’t let it go to your head, nobody likes a
smug person.

Aries:
Having relationship problems, not connecting any more?
If you’ve got nothing to talk about, and subjects are sore,
You need a solution, I’d suggest you should be frank,
Why not swallow your pride, a partner always beats
a sad night alone.

Sagittarius:
Struggling with exams, and nervous about grades,
You might think you’re failing, as the studying fades,
But I have a good solution to pull you out the muck,
Speak to your lecturer, and get ready to
beg.

Scorpio:
Life is looking up,
So give us a cheer,
Its time to be happy,
So get it in gear.
You know how to celebrate,
No ifs and no buts,
Head out to a bar,
And pick up some
happy memories.

Aquarius:
This month is a special one,filled up with love,
Its time for romance, a gift from above.
Take what life throws at you, try not to duck,
Because if you stay strong, I know you’ll get a loving
relationship.

Gemini:
Democracy is key this month,
As things will start to grow.
You need to sort out all the lies,
Remember what you know.
When May comes round, why not write a new story,
You’ll make your choice, just don’t vote in a
complete idiot.

Libra:
Friends getting you down?
Gossip a bit too mean?
Perhaps its time to lose the frown,
Perhaps its time to come clean.
You know its not their issue,
And it isnt just a glitch,
So grab yourself a tissue,
And stop being such a
pain.

Capricorn:
No one is saying you aren’t popular, or saying you are cold,
They simply think you could lighten up, the act is getting old.
No one likes to babysit, and you dont need a nanny,
So maybe just mature a bit, and don’t be a
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